Is there a true "self"?

Each person struggles with the question, “Who am I?” Is it even a question to be asked, or is there not even a true self? I am perplexed about the answer. Yes, we are different from everyone else. We are each unique. We each have different beliefs, values, and personalities. But this is obvious, it is a given. However, something not so obvious that I pondered this week is this: do we have a true “self? Or do we become our “self” by conforming and learning from the society around us like Charles Horton Cooley suggests in his “Looking-Glass Self” hypothesis. Do we change into the person we’ve always wanted to be because of external or internal pressures? I think sociology mainly blames everything on the external world. But don’t we have any personal control over our lives?

In the article, “Mirror Self-Recognition and the Looking-Glass Self” by Leigh S. Shaffer, the issue of defining one’s creation of “self” is insightfully discussed.  Shaffer writes, “For the new social sciences, the self was “not a unitary structure, appearing full-blown” (Sherif, 1968, p. 153), but rather a developmental product of each individual interacting with its social and physical environment. “ So according to this article one’s “self” is not a predetermined characteristic in human nature.  We are created over time. This point seems obvious. But what is profound is the idea that we have less control over who we become than the world around us does. It is hard for certain people to accept that they do not have complete control over the world around them, and in who they’re becoming. However, you have control over who you become to a certain extent. You have the power to set goals and to achieve them. But some events and upraising, you have no control over. These fateful experiences in the social and physical world are large contributions to the creation of one’s “self”. A few examples can be the type of socio-economic class one is born in, certain family deaths, gender, and other uncontrollable experiences. If you are looking at yourself in the mirror you will really find the experiences and judgments of others around you, along with how you’ve acted to moments in your life, staring back. This is known as the “Looking-Glass Self”.

Like the article said, “..the adaptive problem faced by early humans is the need for individuals to justify their conduct to others.” This whole idea really ties into the way our society tries to always impress. Humans must justify every action. It may have to do with our competitiveness and self-conscious nature.

One of the best ways to describe this issue is by looking at the way people use technology. I know for myself and my friends, we enjoy the social network, Facebook.  It is addicting and, for most, a tool to create the person people would be impressed by. We even watched a movie on the new generation controlled by technology.  It may be “Peter Mattington”’s Facebook page, but in reality he’s not letting the whole human population really look into his soul over the internet. Some people get so hung up on the idea that everything on Facebook is reality. If “Peter Mattington” got a comment from the gal he liked saying “You’re so handsomeJ” , he would believe he was handsome. He would walk with straighter posture and a larger ego, just because of one simple comment on the internet. The virtual world is becoming a defining tool of many individuals. So once again, because of human nature, we give people what they want to see. By posting certain pictures, comments, and statuses “Peter Mattington” is truly living up to the Cooley’s “Looking Glass Self” hypothesis.